I can recall the Christmas I wanted to be a ventroloquist.
Specifically I wanted to be as good as, or better than Paul Winchell (whom many of you will recognize as Tigger's voice in the Winnie the Pooh cartoons.) This guy could make the doll talk without so much as a flinch of his lips, and I was enthralled at the idea of being able to set up a partner onstage to make wisecracks and witty asides while I played the straight man. Oh, I could see my career take off, especially in my 4th grade class in January, when the teacher, Mrs. Riley, would let anyone march to the front of the class, proudly display one of their Christmas gifts and chat about it. Why, I don't know - perhaps for the experience of getting in some public speaking. No matter. This was my chance to take center stage and impress the girls, especially Lynette Bredbenner and Lori Morris. I would show my gift, go into a routine and make them swoon. Never mind the fact that I was a buck-toothed kid with a long neck and a bad haircut. It's the sheer thespian talent that knocks 'em dead, didn't you know?
Well, I was dropping every hint possible in order to let my mom know that I wanted a Jerry Mahoney puppet more than anything in the world...
